Mario's Bad Dream
by silvermedal
Summary: Mario wakes up from a bad dream and goes to visit the princess. Not intended to be taken seriously. My friend and I wrote this very very late at night.


One day Mario said, "I have to plumb something soon or I'm gonna burst!"

"What a wonderful thought," said Peach. Then Yoshi burst in and ate Mario. "Why did you do that?" Peach said angrily, "Now we have to wait for him to come out the other end!" She sighed. Mario was always getting into trouble.

"He just tastes so good!" Yoshi said as he spit up Mario.

'Thanks a lot," Mario muttered.

"I wonder…," Peach said. She walked up to Mario and sized him up. Then she took a big breath and swallowed him. "He does taste good," she said happily. She felt his need to plumb inside her

stomach. So she didn't know why but she went over and started making out with Yoshi who didn't really mind.

Mario woke up screaming. That was the second time he had had that dream. He sighed and wiped his brow. "Better get to work," he thought.

After putting on his overalls and cap and brushing his teeth, our Italian plumber reported for work at the Plumbers of Italy, Inc. He always loved his job, but today was different. His mind was on the dream he had had the night previous. Mario was in love with the princess, but that dream had rather ruined his image of her, at least for a few hours. He shuddered as he drove to his first call.

Several hours later, he got a call from the castle. Anxious and a little worried, he drove out to Peach's home.

"So what is it?" he asked Peach when he got there, blushing slightly.

"What is what?" she asked spacily.

"What do I need to plumb, silly? I am a plumber, you know. After all, it's-a me, Mario!"

"Oh, I didn't call your company so you could fix a toilet…I was hoping it would be you sent out here, you know…"

"Uh…" Mario wiped his brow.

Peach stepped slightly closer to him. "I'm hungry," she said softly. "Would you like to stay for dinner? We love having you to eat around here, you know…"

"AHHH!" Mario screamed and turned quickly towards the door.

"Wait, Mario, where are you going…?"

He exited, leaving the doors swinging behind him.

"Mario, what happened today?" Peach's voice said over the phone. "You just left, and I never got to show you the mushroom masterpiece the cooks finished."

"I-I, uh, I guess you just scared me."

"I scared you? Oh, how could little old me scare big tough you?"

"It was a dream-a I had-a. I suppose."

"Well, would like to spend the night tonight? We have a spare room, you know, and it's very nice. It has a heart shaped vibrating bed. Very good for…uh…massaging you if you uh are tired. Eheeheehee!"

"Well, okay."

When Mario got to Peach's castle he hard a scream. He ran inside and saw a very handsome man bending over Peach because he was very tall. "O hello," the man said, "My name is Numair. I'm looking for a friend of mine called Daine. Have you seen her?"

Mario noticed his long black hair tied in a ponytail at the back of his head and his kind wise eyes before a young girl burst in. "Numair!" she screamed. Her clothes were torn and her dark hair was messy. The man called Numair went up to her and gave her a very long kiss, tilting her back like a scene from a romantic movie. Then in a shroud of black light they vanished from sight.

"Hi, Peach." Mario said, "Nice company you're keeping these days." Peach giggled.

"You're looking well." She said blushing, "I'll show you to your room if you'd like."

"Okay," Mario said, his heart beating fast.

Mario thought, _…!_

Peach led him to a room covered in hearts. The wallpaper was hearts. The table was a heart. The bed was a heart. The wall hangings were hearts. The chandelier was hearts.

"Well…" Peach started.

Mario thought,

Peach grinned at him. "Um…oh look! It's a pretty witty butterfly!" She pointed to a moth that was circling the room. "Ooh, it's so _pretty!_"

Mario jumped up and caught it for her. He held it out in his hand.

Peach took it gently and allowed it to perch on her finger. "Ooh!"

Mario smiled.

"OUCH!"

Mario frowned. "What happened?" he said with alarm.

"It BIT me! Ew, get it off!"

Mario swatted it into the wall. "There."

"Oh, thank you! You're my hero!" She kissed him on the cheek.

"Mamma mia," he said, astonished, under his breath.

Peach tossed her hair very attractively, in fact Mario thought it was hot. "Well, uh, I'm going to-"

Mario at that moment took her into her arms and started kissing her with passion.

She broke away very surprised. "Mario, what was that?"

"A kiss."

"Well, duh! But I…I kind of liked it. It was my first, you know."

"Um…" Mario tried to think of what to say to her but she started kissing him. Then Peach started to disappear.

"Mario…" she gasped in pain.

"Don't worry, I won't let go" he told her.

"I know you won't," she said staring up into his eyes.

Peach was evaporating; and Mario didn't know what to do. He was holding on as tight as he could, but Peach was slipping through his fingers like liquid.

"Mario…" she said breathlessly. "I can't stay much longer…kiss me once more, to make my life complete…"

Mario leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She sighed and dissolved into nearly nothing…

But she was whole again, and shining and _floating. _"_Kareth enhai elamoriah rectapo foba…"_

"Peach!" Mario cried. He tackled her and knocked her onto the bed unintentionally.

They started vibrating because the bed had turned on. They both jumped off the bed and stared at each other breathlessly. "Y..Y..You ..are …okay, righ.." Mario couldn't finish his sentence because Peach started kissing him violently. Mario was overcome with gladness so much that he did not see the little toadstool shuffle out of the room. Mario just stood there holding Peach up to him that he didn't notice when she fell asleep. He laid her gently on the bed and realized that he was tired too. So he climbed into bed next to Peach and fell asleep.

He woke up to a song being played. It was "…Baby One More Time." "Argh, I hate this song-a!"

"Well, I'm glad," said a toadstool. "You are sleeping with the princess! I arrest you under high treason!"

"Ah—what—it was her idea—she—glowing—vibrating bed!"

"Come along now."

"No! Mario!" said Princess Peach. "He's innocent! We were having fun!"

"It is against the law for anyone to sleep with the princess until she has armpit hair shaven on a Tuesday in late November! And so far, she HASN'T!"

"Yuh-huh! It's late November, is it not? It's Wednesday, is it not? I SHAVED YESTERDAY!"

"Oh, then, I'm so so so so sorry! Don't fire me!"

"Oh, I shan't. I'll do THIS!" Peach took a handbag and whacked him so hard he sailed through the door and out into the moat.

"So, shall we continue sleeping?" "Um…I'm-a sorry…I didn't mean to fall asleep…uh, …"

"No worries." She started kissing him hard.

THE END


End file.
